The 4th and final

These past few weeks have been awesome. But before I get into that I want to say I've enjoyed the past 9 months, the last experience I'll ever have with being pregnant. I actually miss it. I don't feel like I have many talents. I'm not really great at anything specific.  But I have discovered that I'm good at having babies. I told Mike it's probably a good thing we didn't get married at 20 otherwise I don't know how I would stop. This way my age is forcing me to be done.  It doesn't take much at all to get pregnant. My 9 months of it goes so smoothly. I deliver fast and I love my hospital experiences. I just love the whole process and wish I could do it again..... and again..... and again.

This last one has been awesome. 

im so happy and so sad


After I had the baby I had all sorts of feelings and felt like I had so much to say about it all,  but when I sit down to spill it all out I can't really remember what I had to say....

Run down

- I feel like we should have named her Paul Anka in honor of the countless hours I spent watching 7 seasons of Gilmore Girls towards the end of the pregnancy. To be honest, it was an awesome time. I got two UTI's back to back around September. I was soooo tired I couldn't believe it. I actually cried in Walmart because I had to walk from one end of the store to the other. I could hardly get around the house and it was the first time in probably my whole life that I HAD to take a nap every day around 1:00. Later found out it was from being dehydrated during the UTI's, but my point is I watched a lot of Gilmore Girls during that time. And felt justified, because what else do you do when you're too tired. Watch TV right? Kept on watching till baby was born and then finished up mid December. So now when I think back on "the time we had the baby" it's connected with Gilmore Girls. 

- When I had Ivan I went into labor on my own. They induced me with both jack and Emery. This pregnancy I wanted two things; to not be induced and to go quick enough that I could do it unmedicated. Well November arrived and I wasn't progressing fast like I thought I would. I really didn't want to make it to my due date (15th) and thought for sure I wouldn't, but with each passing day I was more annoyed that I wasn't going on my own and I really wanted to be done and so I caved to the idea of being induced. Which was kind of a bummer because starting contractions in the hospital bed would make it easier for me to cave to the epidural as well. Anyway- we scheduled induction for thur the10th. Mikes mom came over wed and we got ourselves all ready. We went to bed that night and I couldn't get to sleep. Finally I dozed about 1:00am and then Emery threw up. Sooo we got up and cleaned that all up and by the time I fell back asleep we had to be up and ready for the 6:00 phone call. 

- we arrived at the hospital about 7:30. About 8:30 they started the pitocin. I started feeling the labor pains. 9:45 they broke my water. Pains started REALLY picking up. We figured I'd work through them as long as I could. They started getting really good and when I couldn't do it anymore I told the nurse I wanted to change my mind about the epidural. She checked me and said, "nope, I think we can have this baby right now." She called the doctor. Doctor came down pretty quick. We pushed some awful 4 or 5 pushes and baby came at 10:50. A phew phrases I remember are, "momma help me,"  "Shhhhhit." " I can't do it" and "I think my butt is going to explode." Luckily it didn't. It was awesome. They brought that sweet baby girl up and we got an hour of skin to skin. Mike was awesome. I thought for sure he would encourage me to  get the epidural once I started feeling pain, but he didn't. He was helpful during the contractions and cheered me on during the birth and expressed how proud of me he was after we did it. 

- I love giving birth. This time was such a bitter sweet experience. I'm so glad we did it, even though we probably should have a couple years ago, and at the same time I'm so sad I'll never do it again. My nurse and doctor were awesome. They deliver thousands of babies and won't remember mine, but I felt such a connection to them during labor. It was fun to feel that. I love staying in the hospital and being in that bed with a tiny newborn and nurses taking such good care of you. Mike and I had a nice little dinner date, just the two of us, with the hospital food. It was fun to have the kids come and visit and love on their new little sister. Ivan was just infatuated with her. He wanted to sleep at the hospital with me. He would stay almost all day and hold her. It was so fun to have a little newborn again. I love looking down at their little heads while they nurse. It's so cute when they stretch and squirm or when they tuck their legs in tight and their arms stretch above their head. 

(i'm going back to reprint this year. This page wasn't in it before. It looks like I just stopped writing there)