I'm not sure how people do it? And I surely don't want to find out!

This mortal life definitely brings challenges and heartache. It's a tricky little life we live..... it can be so great at times and so sad at others. It's amazing that there are things going on all over the world that are at totally different ends of the spectrum. While some are anxiously awaiting the arrival of a new baby, others have to give theirs back.

This is Daxton, our neighbors little guy who was born in December. Two years ago they lost a baby at 20 weeks, just as she was going in to find out what she was having. Then, through in vitro, they were able to get pregnant again and carry Daxton full term. He was born in December, but has been in the NICU since then with complications. Sunday they had to make the horrific decision to take him off of life support. HOW DOES ONE DO THAT?!?! I know when people are going through trials there is a lot of pondering and a lot of prayer and I'm sure a lot of learning and I guess that is how they do it. Nevertheless, what a decision to have to make. Their sweet little baby boy then passed away Sunday evening. Yes he's in a better place, but I'm not sure I could let go of that little body for him to go on to that other place.

Then this morning my dear friend and college roommate Alisa passed away from a brain tumor. As little innocent college girls we would have never dreamed of this day.

This is just a page of my scrapbook I pulled out- it puts the way people scrapbook today to shame don't you think? I mean look at the embellishments I added

There just aren't many worries when your young and living the college life. We just laid around and picked our noses and had no idea what life would bring 17 1/2 years later.

I better confess now, before she gets completely over to the other side and finds out.... Alisa, I flushed your other fish down the toilet when you went home that weekend. See one fish died and the other was stinking up the fish bowl and the apartment and so instead of cleaning the bowl for her while she was gone, like a good Latter Day Saint roommate would do, I just flushed the darn thing and told her that it also died while she was gone. Becca! You are rotten. Sorry Alisa.

She was very anti-marriage at a young age and swore she would be the last of us all to get married. Wasn't far into our second year that she met Brandon and actually became the first of us all to get married.

We've all stayed good friends, as you seem to do with college roommates. They are sorta like family after that time together. At least that's how I feel. This is us about 4 years after college and she has her first little baby boy.

Her husband Brandon worked with Mike at PriceWaterhouse and are the ones who set us up. Here they are with 2 kids. And here Mike is with hair. :)

And a few more years later- her two kids are a little older

And here is the Christmas card they sent out this last Christmas.

I'm sorry, but as much as I believe the gospel is true and that they will be an eternal family, it doesn't change the fact that her little babies have to grow up without their mama. I can't let my mind wander there. I can't let it think about the realities of it. I can't let it think about the fact that she can't cuddle them and be there as they grow. I can't think about them climbing in their beds tonight with the emptyness that their moms passing must bring. I can't think about Brandon loosing his spouse and her losing Brandon. And I have to quit looking at this picture.

I hear about these stories more than I'd like and get sad enough about that, but it's definitely different when it's someone you know and love. I know they have found the peace that they need and that Alisa doesn't have to suffer anymore and so I'll just keep my mind there.